The Overflow

living in the overflow of God's goodness through every season

Praying for Your Future Husband {part 2}

RelationshipsCassidy ShooltzComment
 Photo Credit: Karen Whisler

Photo Credit: Karen Whisler

Did you miss part one by Sara Barratt? Read it here!

“That is so strange!” I said to myself as I set Sara Barratt’s letter down. “She’s praying for her future husband?! How can you pray for someone you don’t even know?” I thought the idea was crazy; I had never even heard of it before, but my interest was sparked.

Was it possible that my prayers could impact the life of a man I don’t even know?

I wasn’t sure. With slight embarrassment, I went to the library to find the book that she had mentioned on the subject. I didn’t want anyone to see me carrying a book like that; isn’t it strange for me to be thinking of some guy out there in the world who probably doesn’t even know my name? Despite my hesitation, I dove in.

Soon the Lord had changed my attitude; I wasn’t embarrassed anymore that I was praying for my future man or attempting to hide any book on the subject under my shirt - It was a joy to be uplifting and bathing him in prayer. The words of Hudson Taylor had a new meaning to me, “It is possible to move men, through God, by prayer alone.” It was exciting to think that God was so at work in the life of a person I would one day (Lord willing) serve alongside.

 Photo Credit: Karen Whisler

Photo Credit: Karen Whisler

3 Ways I Specifically Pray

1. That he would love the Lord more than he could ever love me.

The first commandment is “...Love the Lord your God and with all your soul and with all your mind.” (Matt. 22:37, NIV). We girls have a tendency to want to be our man’s whole world; we want him to be thinking about us all day long, we want to look up to find his eyes on us, we wish to be his first waking thought.

There’s a word for that: selfishness.

When we allow ourselves to think that way, we are saying that we deserve what rightfully belongs to God; we want to be his everything, when he should look only to Jesus as his everything. You and I were made to bring God glory; therefore it should always be our goal to point all eyes to Jesus, and not ourselves.

Pray that he would be completely sold out and set-apart for Jesus; beg God to mold your man into a faithful servant who always seeks to glorify and honor God before all others. Pray that your future man deeply longs for intimacy with Jesus and that he delights in God’s word.

2. That he lives a Christ-defined life.

I recently read this quote:

 Photo Credit: Karen Whisler

Photo Credit: Karen Whisler

“The Christian life can be explained only in terms of Jesus Christ, and if your life as a Christian can still be explained in terms of you-- your personality, your willpower, your gift, your talent, your money, your courage, your scholarship, your dedication, your sacrifice, or your anything-- then although you may have the Christian life, you are not yet living it.” Ian Thomas [1]

We live in a culture in which it is completely normal, and even expected, to have running mental lists of our gifts, talents, accomplishments, abilities, and personality traits. Although it isn’t wrong to desire to be good stewards of what God has placed in our lives, we have it all wrong when we define our lives by our own abilities.

I pray that my future man will be fully dependent upon Jesus Himself, and that his life would only be defined in terms of the Lord. I am asking God to take all self-sufficiency away from my man, and I am asking that God would make him totally aware of his own insufficiency and God’s perfect sufficiency.

3. That he lays everything on the line for Christ.

It is normal for us to be normal. It is expected that we will do just what has been modeled before us; if the culture shouts it, it must be correct, right? As Christians, we must know the answer to that question. Are we willing to be different in order to serve our Jesus to the best of our ability? Are we willing to give up absolutely everything for the glory of our God?

Jim Elliot once said,

“We are so utterly ordinary, so commonplace, while we profess to know a Power the Twentieth Century does not reckon with. But we are ‘harmless,’ and therefore unharmed. We are spiritual pacifists, non-militants, conscientious objectors in this battle-to-the-death with principalities and powers in high places. Meekness must be had for contrast with men, but brass, outspoken boldness is required to take part in the comradeship of the Cross. We are ‘sideliners’ - coaching and criticizing the real wrestlers while content to sit by and leave the enemies of God unchallenged. The world cannot hate us, we are too much like its own. Oh that God would make us dangerous!”

Pray that you man will not be mediocre and commonplace, but rather a warrior, battling on behalf of Christ’s kingdom. I want the man I marry to be dangerous for Jesus! I pray that he has outspoken boldness and that he is a true wrestler in prayer.

 Photo Credit: Karen Whisler

Photo Credit: Karen Whisler

Many girls will read this and say, “that’s impossible! There aren’t any men out there that are like that! Why would you pray for something so impossible?!” If you made that statement, I challenge you to consider the perfection of the God you serve; He has parted the Red Sea, flooded the entire world while keeping Noah and his family safe, protected Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego from a blazing furnace - I know, with complete confidence, that He is able to raise up men who are after His heart, on fire for Him. We actually question God’s ability when we make such a statement.

I serve a God who does the impossible, therefore I pray for the impossible all the time. Will you join me in uplifting our men in prayer? You don’t need a special book or a certain resource; all you need is your Bible and a willingness to war on behalf of your future man. Make the decision to start today - even if you think it’s strange as first, as I did. Dear sister, I encourage you to take a step to pray for the man who God has for you, don’t wait until you’re married to battle on his behalf.  


1. Ian Thomas, The Mystery of Godliness (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1964), 162.